The story starts, like most mystical experiences, at the antique shop where I get my stuff for my Etsy shop, Magdalena Tower.
I was writing a description about a cherub sun catcher I was listing . I like to include little occult blurbs in my descriptions so I was doing some research looking for some fun facts online. But I was finding a lot of contradictory information so I decided to go home and reference my home library where I knew I could dig up more accurate information in printed resources .
The next day I pulled out my big, 1934 edition of Masonic Morals and Dogma and ended up finding the word “Ararita” in an entry about angels. The description of the word was confusing and the only thing I could make sense of is that it could possibly be a magick word for shifting reality, at least in Masonic school of thought.
My lesson in “Ararita” started before a couple of weeks before I found the word with a dream so vivid I thought it was real. I hadn’t wanted to talk to the person I’d dreamed of in months and all of a sudden, I felt I needed to reach out to him as soon as possible. The dream felt like soul contact: I could hear, taste, touch, see and smell like I was in the 3D world. I felt like this person was calling to me and no matter how hard I tried to shake the feeling, I couldn’t get him out of my head. It was like I went to sleep just fine and woke up with 5 months of repressed feelings right there on the table. The lyrics of this song are exactly how I felt that morning when I woke up and for the following days as I watched the Moon go from dark to Super Moon Full (the say it wasn’t a Super Moon but I think they miscalculated)
It doesn’t help that this person and I have been embroiled in this sadistic game for almost 2 years because we have a tremendous amount of karma to work out. The chronological soundtrack to this entire story that started out with four miserable people and ended with me all by myself would be:
1) “Head Over Feet” Alanis Morsette
2) “Bad Romance” Lady Gaga
3) “Jolene” Dolly Parton
4) “Oops I Did it Again” Brittany Spears
5) “Before He Cheats” Carrie Underwood
6) “Flashbacks” Emika Gnothi Seauton remix
Sounds like a hell of a story but really, it made life a living hell.
People say it was a Twin Flame runner and chaser scenario but I don’t want to use Twin Flames as an excuse for my toxic behavior. But Twin Flames or not, I was the chaser and I chased answers to why everything fell apart for almost 2 years. I started the most recent round of chasing just before I began studying karma from a Rosicrucian perspective.
And it was all too Divinely timed. I started the game up again, the bell rang announcing the beginning of the match and it was like stepping into a ring with Kali andher tag team partner, karma. And they both took turns punching me in my bitch ass face … repeatedly. It wasn’t the first time karma and Kali teamed up and punched me in the face over this. But this time I finally got why this situation is what it is. All of a sudden, I didn’t have to ask why anymore. I knew that, like the power of the word “Ararita” that everything is true and so too is the opposite . That everything you believe is a lie and conversely so as well.
And then it was like the 8 of Swords reversed: the blindfold fell off, the swords fell down and I saw exactly what happened. And I learned that yes, I was completely wrong to do what I did. I also realized that what everyone else did or didn’t do doesn’t have a damn thing to do with me. The only person I’m responsible for is myself and I did not act in alignment with the higher good. And because karma is an equal and opposite reaction, my actions caused me to lose everything because all the energy I put into getting what I wanted snapped back on me and destroyed my life like an electric lightening powered rubber band.
But with destruction comes rebirth and believe it or not, I’m better off now than I was before I lost everything because in losing everything, I was able to build a happy life for myself.
So I put on my big girl pants, took a deep breathe and apologized to the only person that was completely innocent in this entire situation. She was the person I should have apologized to all along but it just didn’t register. I don’t believe I will ever hear back from her. But I sent her my most sincere apologies and I’m walking away now.
There’s only so much you can do to try to clean up a sticky mess on the floor before you make the entire kitchen sticky, you can’t duct tape a shattered window back together and you can’t make anyone love or forgive you no matter how much you want them to.
The outcome isn’t what I wanted in the psychical world but spiritually, I finally found peace with the situation in knowing that I have come so far since then. This was a huge lesson for me and I will never forget what it taught me.
After the meaning of “Arairta” was revealed to me, I was initiated into the Rosicrucian Mountain Rose Poranos. I was officially made a member of my lodge. The topic came up that I’m on the threshold of my Temple First Degree initiation after the ceremony. My elders suggested I go to the Grand Lodge at Rosicrucian Park in San Jose for the ceremony so I reached out to headquarters and they reserved my spot. I have a flight voucher to cover part of the trip too fro a god awful layover on Christmas. I’m still in need of lodgings but I think something is falling in to place. so if everything works out, this trip won’t be very expensive.
I feel like this is a rite of passage. At the beginning of the current degree I’m in, I began working with Maat. I dreamed that I was in a stage coach sleeping and a dusty, worn out box flew in through the window and fell in my lap. It popped open and there on the cobweb covered cushion was a moldy, maggoty heart. I woke up mortified. It was like Maat threw my heart at me and challenged me to fix it. And I did. So now I’m ready for the next level of the mysteries being revealed. One reason I’m going to San Jose is to make connections so I can go to Egypt and connect with the Order there. This is only the beginning.
Tonight as I was writing this, I decided to look for another explanation of “Ararita” because although I know I’m experiencing the power of working with the word, I still had no clue as to what a decent mystical explanation of its power is. And of course, just like everything else, I found this explanation in Divine timing.
““The use of this Name and Formula [ARARITA] is to equate and identify every idea with its opposite; thus being released from the obsession of thinking any one of them as ‘true’ (and therefore binding); one can withdraw oneself from the whole sphere of the Ruach. (or mind) See Liber 813, vel Ararita….” — Alister Crowly
As for now, this is where I stand with the karma that still needs to be worked out. But it may not be in this life, even if we are still connected.