Everything has felt REALLY out of control lately. Even though I have #MercuryRetrograde in my birthchart and allegedly I’ve progressed out of it, it still gives me an ass whooping every time in my worklife. Not to mention the chaos on the global stage …
The last time #VenusRetrograde came around in 2023, she burnt my house down. But I learned her lesson. So this time she brought some fun on the dark side with her and she brought me an experienced sub.
I wasn’t looking to learn about #domming but everything just kind of fell into place after I stopped hooking up with the person who introduced me to being dominate in the bedroom.
My interest in doming began in late fall with an intense lover who drove me wild in bed. My wintertime lover wanted to be dominated in ways I had only fantasized about.
We pushed deeper into our fetishizes and kinks but they always pulled back after intense scenes in the bedroom.
Looking back on it, I didn’t provide aftercare or look after their feelings because I was’t even aware we were engaging in BDSM. My lover would tell me how to dominate them and I probably unknowingly pushed them over their limit more than once, looking back on it.
So it wasn’t safe BDSM at all. We had no safe words, no contract and I didn’t check in on their feelings during scenes because I wasn’t aware we were engaging in BDSM.
But to be fair, I also think my lover didn’t realize the BDSM complexities of our arrangement either.
All of this led to heated arguments and resentment. In retrospect, I can see how it harmed us both.
Because the BDSM play wasn’t done properly, my wintertime love ended dramatically and it made me sad.
If we ever talk again, I would apologize for being so naive and perhaps recommend they look into how to safely have their needs met in bed as I have begun learning about how to safely meet my own needs.
I cared about my lover and missed him, but spring brought me the remedy: an experienced, plutonic sub who is teaching me how to dom safely.
My current plutonic sub/dom arrangement started as me being my sub’s handler (my sub is in to pup play) but has progressed to rope play.
My current sub enrolled us in a rope bondage class and I’m learning more and more about reclaiming my power through domming and creating something that resembles control in an out of control world.
I’m also learning how to be a safe dom, which is just as valuable as the kink techniques I’m exploring. My new sub is kind and patient and communicates his needs when I ask.
As for rope, I don’t know many knots yet but I’m off to a good start with getting the foundations down. My therapist agrees this is good for helping me with healing from abusive relationships because many times before, it was men who forced me into submission where now, I have the power and control.
I’m interested to see what kind of #sensual art, #knotmagick and psychological #healing will be opened to me by the blessed #DarkGoddess, #VenusMorningStar.
Some say the devil is a woman, and maybe there’s something to that after all …
Magdalena Tarot 