I’m having #manifesting mania right now. Welcome, #Capricorn season. It’s my time to shine. I just pulled a 52 hour week and I’ve been on the grind.

Every day, cash passes through my hands as I casher at my part-time job and imagine a continuous cash flow. For me, handling money fuels my power.

How Capricorny of me? ♑️

I’ve been listening to a book about the soul urge while stocking shelves.

I’ve felt adrift for a while. And I’ve been looking for answers. This year I took a lot of time for my mental health and as EMDR help rewire my CPTSD brain, I started feeling well enough to start to reimagine my life. I downloaded this book while laying in bed with a concussion at the end of October because I was banned from screen time and reading per dr’s orders so I needed books to listen to and that’s when this book found me.

But what I found from listening to this book over the past six weeks or so surprised me.

I realized I’m not feeling adrift because I haven’t accomplished anything; I’m feeling adrift because I have accomplished so much. I traveled the world, published books, had a moderately successful career as a model/dancer/actress, was a moderately successful influencer, settled down and got to work on healing trauma. There have definitely been setbacks but I feel satisfied with who I am. I’m still learning, I’m not perfect, but I’ve lived a full life for sure.

It dawned on me that reading a book on middle age felt dissonant because I’m past that psychologically. Instead, I’vereached a point many people reach in their 50s and 60s early

That tracks because I ofter look at my life and think gosh can I retire now?

So like people in their 50s and 60s, I’m starting to focus more on reinvigorating my passions, accepting what I have and haven’t done and letting go of what I expected to achieve (family, spouse etc) 

I also have found my spiritual calling and call to service through being a priestess, which I’ve known is my calling since I was a toddler. I was outraged when my family told me women couldn’t be priests when I was a child but I found a way into ritual service through my esoteric order. Thus satisfying the spiritual urge many in middle age are seeking.

So really I have no reason to feel adrift. I seem to be on track — in fact, a little ahead of the curve maybe.

One thing the book talks about is soul urges. And one thing I have never been afraid to do is follow soul urges.

I can tell you the exact moment this current, powerful soul urge started but I can’t tell you why. It’s as mysterious as every soul urge.

But what I can tell you is that sometimes, something in your soul says, “Go.”

And you do.

And nothing is the same after that.

And when that happens, everything just falls into place because the soul speaks the same language of the gods.

So I made a vision board to get clear on my plans and made it the wallpaper on my phone.

And the future continues to unfold.🌹

How was your #yule