I’ve been on both sides of the table during a Tarot reading or a healing session. I’ve been the one giving and I’ve been the one receiving. The best sessions for me are the sessions in which I feel completely comfortable with the person I’m working with.
But occasionally, I’ll get into a situation with someone that I’m not in flow with. I’ve been on both sides of the table when this has happened too. I always hope that my readings resonate with my client, but if they don’t, I understand that for whatever reason, we’re just not connecting and let it go.
But some readers and healers can be what I like to call “spiritual bullies”. You may ask a reader or healer a question because you’re looking for healing, but the spiritual professional winds up taking advantage of your trust. They may even put you down as a way to boost their own ego and eve become hostile if you don’t tell them they’re right if you say a reading doesn’t resonate with you . I’ve met healers and readers who have tried to do this to me and I’ve also seen healers and readers do this to others. Be aware that just like in any business, there are people who understand good customer service and people who don’t. The people who don’t are not worth doing business with.
I met a “spiritual bully” last week and my awful experience inspired me to write this blog post.
I went to a New Age shop outside of Indianapolis and received a wonderful sound healing. The healer used a variety of different singing bowls and it felt amazing to be in the wall of sound. I felt really good when the healing was over and decided to ask the healer about ways to work through writes’ block. But instead of answering my question, he said, “You always change for him. That is why your relationships never last.”
I was perplexed because I’ve been with my boyfriend in a stable relationship for three years. As a professional reader and Tarot entrepreneur, (which, btw, I never revealed to the healer), I suspected the healer may have been trying to stereotype me by age and gender because among my demographic, questions about “true love” are popular. But I didn’t say anything about love. I distinctly and clearly asked about overcoming writer’s block. I reminded the healer of this and added that I’ve been with my boyfriend for years and we’re happy because I wasn’t ready to give up on the session. As a reader, I thought I could swing the productivity of the session in a different direction and tried to open up some dialogue about my past, when I did have questions about true love. I thought on a subconcious level, maybe there was hurt in the past that I may need to overcome.
But the healer didn’t like this route. He became upset, demanded that I was “lying” to myself and asserted that I always “rely on a man,” with a nasty sneer. I found the whole situation to be very sexist and I told him I didn’t think that was the case because I’ve picked up and moved to different countries and said good bye to lots of men that way. He said that proved I was just “running away” from problems. It became apparent that the beautiful healing session was ending on a sour note and I started to feel that I paid someone $15 to insult me.
Who knows, the message may resonate with me in the future. Maybe he was actually reading for the protagonist in my novel and I should consider what he said from her POV when tackling the scenes I’m stuck on. Or maybe he didn’t actually know what to say about writer’s block so he made some shit up. I’m an intuitive but I admit that I don’t know everything. So I decided to let it go, take the negative experience and turn it into a positive lesson about providing good customer service to my clients.
So based on my experience, here’s what I think everyone who is going for a psychic reading, spiritual counseling or healing session needs to know about their rights.
Your Rights as a Tarot Client
1) Take a moment to talk to your reader or healer before you decide to do business with him or her. Do you get a good vibe from the person? Do you click instantly or do you feel uneasy right away?
2) Ask some straightforward questions like, “How would you describe your reading style?” If you like gentle readings or do you like brutal honesty? Be upfront with your reader from the get go. He or she has the right to refuse a client on any circumstances .
3) Ask your reader about his or her policies. If you have a question about personal issues like legal matters or health, it’s best to ask if there will be any conflict of ethics.
4) Every once in a while, you may get into a reading or healing where the person you’re working with just doesn’t resonate with you. Before you panic, keep an open mind. Try to think of ways the message can apply to your life even if it doesn’t directly relate to your question. Also keep in mind that messages may not be true now, but they could make sense several months down the road. If a reading doesn’t resonate, don’t be hostile and keep in mind that you and the reader are both only human.
5) However, there are situations when you may be offended by your reader or healer. If your reader or healer makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to tell them so. However, be polite about it by simply saying that the reading doesn’t resonate with you or that you don’t feel comfortable with the reader.
6) If the reader becomes hostile, you have the right to end your reading immediately. Being told abusive things that make you feel bad about yourself like “you’re weak”, “you’re lying to yourself”, “you’re lost”, etc., are not positive affirmations that help someone heal. This is the language that spiritual bullies use and no one needs to put up with someone trying to exercise his or her own power over their client to get an ego boost. If you feel insulted or hurt by your reader’s delivery, that’s a red flag that you need to discontinue the reading. Readers and healers have bad days too, but that’s no reason to take out their personal issues on their clients. Have compassion for your reader or healer but don’t let him or her walk all over you.
7) To discontinue a reading, simply say that you don’t feel the reading resonates with you and you wish to discontinue the reading. Most of the time, there is no money back guarantee so if you’re concerned that you may have a negative experience, ask your reader before you start if there is a refund policy for dissatisfaction with a reading. If there’s no refund policy, pay the reader and politely thank him or her for their time.
8) Ask your reader if he or she has a way for you to provide feedback on their blog or website or via e-mail. If it was a great reading, let your reader know! If it wasn’t, also let your reader know. Feedback not only helps your reader with future clients but it also helps you process your experience.
Remember, the customer comes first. You are a customer and you deserve to receive the best customer service possible!
So remember, readings and healings are meant to be EMPOWERING and encourage TRANSFORMATION through problem solving. Anyone providing less is not worth doing business with.
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