I have to be honest, my initiation into the  Traditional Martinist Order, a sub order of AMORC, in January really made me stop, pause and think about my chosen path as a Rosicrucian.  I wish it had been more than just figuring out that Tuxedo Kamen, Sailor Moon’s boyfriend from my beloved childhood show, Sailor Moon, is most likely supposed to be a Martinist  (I am 100% convinced that the director of Sailor Moon is a

Rosicrucian) but no, it was more than that.

Something happened during the ritual I couldn’t explain. It was very surreal. I’m not even sure if it was something I actually saw or if it was just the energy bouncing around the room, but I felt the true potential the knowledge I’m studying holds intensely and the responsibility that comes with it.

And it caught me off guard. I had to take a step back and really examine myself to determine if I deemed myself worthy of being given the opportunity to pursue mastery of these secrets. All of a sudden, going to Rosicrucian Convocation the next day seemed intimidating to me. But that intimidation didn’t fade so I took a break although I did continue to study the monographs (or teachings) of the orders I received by e-mail.

However, that intimidation wasn’t the only thing that kept me away for a while. There were other circumstances that also prevented me from going. They were things I couldn’t control like snowstorms blowing in and a nasty bug that kept me at home blowing my nose.

Then the former grand master of the poranos (our small size prohibits us from being a lodge although sometimes I mistakenly use the word since most people don’t know what a poranos us) sent out an e-mail announcing that we were having initiation into the poranos in March and anyone who was not a member was welcome to be initiated. I knew that I would get a really cool pin if I attended so I decided to go because I wanted that pin to show off my Rosicrucian pride. Even though I was on break, I was still very proud of being in the fraternity.

At the Poranos intiation, somehow my First Temple Initiation came up with several of the fraters. They asked me when it was going to be and coincidentally, I was ready for initiation right around the date that the ceremony was being held at Grand Lodge in San Jose. My fraters encouraged me to investigate going so I did. I contacted Grand Lodge and they welcomed my presence with open arms and registered me to attended. To make things even better, I had a $100 flight voucher from a hellish 8 hour flight delay at Christmas time. I also thought I had a place to stay in San Jose but unfortunately, as you’ll see later, things fell apart. Initially, however, it seemed like my trip was blessed with perfect timing and everything was falling into place beautifully.

In the meantime, I’d been having strange encounters with the archetype of St. Germain, who coincidentally was a Rosicrucian as well. The master of our local chapter of the Martinist Order encouraged me to open up to the influence when I confined in him.

I decided to build an altar to St Germain to invite his energy into my life. His color is purple for the violet flame so I settled on purple and gold and gold for the altar. I went to JoAnn’s fabrics and just like most mystical experiences, sycroncities began happening out of no where. Some fake flowers moved on their own, a man dressed all in purple was in front of me buying purple fabric and told me how much he liked my purple rose, my total came to $30.33 and at the train station, someone was playing “When Doves Cry” by Prince, who loved the color purple. I got home, activated the altar, sat back and let it do its thing.

NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. All of a sudden I felt like I was in a modern version of the Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz. If you’re unfamiliar with the work, which is anonymous but some believe was penned by St. Germain, this old man by the name of Christian Rosenkreutz (which some speculate was St. Germain and the father of the 16th century reboot of the Rosicrucians), gets invited to a royal wedding that involves overcoming many trials of the soul. The story is an allegory for the allegory of alchemy (although some claim St. Germain/Christian Rosenkreutz was one of the rare few who mastered the literal art of turning base metal to gold). Anyway, some of the things that happen at that freak show of a horrifying wedding would make me run away screaming, but now I kind of get it. Because in a weird way, I was also tested getting to San Jose when I lost my lodgings. Long story short, Thursday night, at the last minute, the friend who said I could stay with her changed her mind. We got in a fight and I’m not sure this can be worked out any time soon. I feel we’ve been on different paths and they need to diverge for a while and with the changes I’m going through, people are suddenly being yanked from my life and replaced with people who are in tune with me. Looking back, I think if my friend had been in San Jose with me, I would not have had the experience I needed to have. Not because I didn’t want her there, I really did. But it was something I needed to do on my own and I get it now.

The difficult truth about what I needed to do with this relationship really upset me, but I decided to not let that bring me down and look at this as an opportunity for me to have the experience that the Universe was organizing for me.   I took the stance mentally that sometimes, to have the experience you’re supposed to have, things need to be rearranged forcefully. I always kick and scream and fight when that happens but the more I learn to let go in times like that, the better things are in the end.

And once I let go, it was pretty beautiful, actually, because all of a sudden, my network of friends across the planet banded together to comfort me and help me find lodgings. I also reconnected with some old friends that I hadn’t seen since my days of living in Japan who now live in the Bay Area. So that trial was overcome.

But I buckled up and prepared for what could come next. It was the end of Mercury Retrograde after all, so all I could do was dress in purple for good luck and ask for Divine guidance on my journey.

Then there were trials that were eerily likeThe Chymical Wedding . Some I can’t speak of because they were part of the ceremony (no, no one died, got hurt and there was no animal sacrifice. But I did see the metaphors play out) and other less metaphorical similarities like the part of the book where people were being shot up into the air after failing to show their worthiness to attend the wedding. That played out in real life when we had such bad turbulence on our flight that I felt like I was going to fly out of my seat!

The whole time I was just like, “Mercury can you just not right now?” And also wondering why the heck Grand Lodge scheduled initiation for the end of Mercury Retrograde.

I was not only distressed about the fight with my friend, Apple decided to do an update Thursday night so my app for AirBnB was not working and I needed to contact my host. I spent all day messaging with customer service on Twitter trying to figure out how to contact my host because he wasn’t replying to my messages. When I was at the airport waiting for my flight, I still hadn’t heard from my host and I had no idea if my AirBnB would even go through.

So I had to remind myself to surrender and let the Universe sort things out. Luckily, I heard from my host before my flight took off and it was smooth sailing from there. I made friends with people on my journey like the Bright Gen Z kid who sat next to me on the flight, Lyft drivers, bus drivers, other Rosicrucians and people at the bar I partied at Friday night. In the mundane world between ceremonies, I had a great time with my friends, enjoyed my short exploration of San Jose and Oakland (where a met a friend) and met more handsome, intelligent, eligible, international bachelors in two days than I’ve met in Denver in the past year.

And while I was strolling through Oakland with a friend on Saturday, after we hit an antique shop, two ideas that were just seeds in my head started to take root. 1) I started to visualize in 3D detail Magdalena Tower, my online vintage and antique shop, as being an actual place. 2) I visualized this place being located in the Bay Area.

And it made sense. The more I thought about it, the more I thought that this could be a successful reality. Magdalena Tower being a place has been a dream for a while but I never envisioned it in Denver. Denver doesn’t feel right for it and honestly never has. But I didn’t know where it should be until I visited the Bay and felt the vibe. In my vision, I see Magdalena Tower as a sort of “alchemist corner”. It would be in an old, abandoned church and have a big, Old West Bar that serves as the cash register, jewelry case and apocrypha storage. It would also be a metaphysical clothing/bookstore with space for Tarot readers, psychics, healers and classes. Maybe even space for art shows and parties too if it really expanded.

The dream grew to be really big as I watched the scenery go by on the train ride back to my AurBnB. So I decided to give the idea up to the Cosmic and if it’s meant to happen, it will I guess. I put the ideas away and prepare for initiation.

I brought a floor length, flowing red dress for my initiation along with a sheer, floor length, lacy, white jacket. I put on my dress, jewelry and boots and took an hour walk through San Jose to Rosicrucian Park. It was a windy sunset and it made my dress billow behind me. I had several people stop me and tell me how nice I looked, which was very nice of them and made me smile.

It was a beautiful evening and San Jose is a beautiful, lush, green place. If you remember my post about making rainbows, I tried my hand at it again and got a small rainbow out of it to enjoy during my walk. I also went under a purple bridge, the color I’ve taken to lately. There was a beautiful rose garden I wanted to stop in on the way but I didn’t have time.

When I got to Rosicrucian Park, I had some extra time so I wandered around the grounds and admired the statues and the architecture until it was time to find the Temple. I was still a little early so I went to the Rosicrucian Research Library and looked at their to die for rare occult book collection. I also saw some cool historical items, like a collar worn my Napoleon when he was a Grand Master of the Order and a Rose Cross brought to America when the Order established itself here and the founding fathers joined, making our principals a part of the foundation the United States was founded upon.

Then it was time to enter the Temple.

I can’t tell you anything about what happened or what I saw. But I can tell you that I understand what David Lynch (who I know is a Mason and they have their own version of Rosicrucianism) was going for in Twin Peaks or what Kunihiko Ikuhari was going for with Sailor Moon and Revolutionary Girl Utena. It inspired me to continue working on Where There is No Night, my mystical series that is a metaphor for my spiritual journey.

The ceremony itself was facilitated by none other than the Grand Master and Imperator of the US chapter of the Order, Julie Scott. It was an honor to be initiated by her. The 9 others who were in my group and I were sent away at the end of the ceremony and told to meditate on the revelations before coming back for part II in the morning.

I had planned to go out in S but I felt so drained after initiation that I just went back to my AirBnB and fought with the Postmates app (thanks Apple update) until I could order a sandwich to eat before bed. I had gotten a little too much sun in Oakland, my chest was as red as my dress and I was feeling the sickening effects of a sunburn. I think that’s only something fair skinned people can understand. I regretted not being my parasol. I went to sleep but didn’t sleep well because I was anxious and sunburnt. I didn’t notice it until the next day but my pentagram actually protected me from the sun!

I slept in and called a Lyft to go to the Temple on Sunday morning. I wore a short, white dress with roses on it, my fringy boots and a sweater. The road in front of Rosicrucian Park was blocked off due to a run so I had to walk a couple of blocks. I ran into a man from my from Venusula and we chatted about international travel. When we arrived at the Temple, we joined our fraters and sorrors again and continued our journey.

Once again, I can’t say what went on but it left an impression on me, more so than Part I. I can still vividly see parts of it in my mind and I feel as though my life has changed but I’m not sure how yet.

After the ceremony we were congratulated by the officers and the witnesses, other fraters and sorrors that came to watch the use receive the rite. I connected with a sorror in our group and sat with her and talked for a long while. She recommended I talk to some of the Masons I know about becoming a co-Mason and I may investigate the option because Masonry is another area of occult studied that interests me. Talking with the sorror felt like meeting a dear, old friend. But that’s how the Order is. Everyone I’ve met I feel like I knew them before. We don’t actively recruit too much because it is said that those who find the order are meant to be there.

There was a break between the tour of the grounds and the ceremony so I had lunch at a delicious restaurant across the street and then came back and made friends with a Brazilian man. We watched a beautiful, young, Hispanic girl be photographed for her 16th birthday in the Peace Garden as we waited for others to join us on the tour.

And we had a treat too! Grand Master Julie Scott joined us and helped give the tour. It was wonderful chatting with her and asking questions. She is a truly inspirational woman. I learned a lot on the walk. It was a lovely stroll through the park in good company.

The tour of the grounds ended and we said goodbye to Master Julie Scott and a few others. Then the rest of us continued on to the Egyptian Museum. I got really overwhelmed on the tour I joined so I dropped out and took another tour, only to still feel overwhelmed by being around so many beautiful ancient artifacts. I finally decided to give myself a tour and wandered around the museum by myself for a while.

Next I went to the planetarium and I had every intention of watching the documentary about solar flares created by the Smithsonian and NASA but I fell asleep. However, it was a great place to take a much needed nap to prepare for the the flight home.

When the documentary was over, I found a different rose garden nearby and wandered around it. As I walked past the beautiful houses in the lovely neighborhood surrounding Rosicrucian Park, I day dreamed about being married to a handsome, intelligent Silicon Valley man who is right on the same page as me, living down the street from Grand Lodge, running a brick and mortar version of Magdalena Tower and raising a bad ass Crystal Child with my husband and as a family, we will work to bring more light to the world. And I guess that’s what my vision of the future looks like. I didn’t really have much of a vision for what I want. I recently read something that asked me to envision life 10 years from now and I drew a blank. But now I feel like I have more direction and I have a real life setting of what I want to play my dreams out on.

 

And it’s not impossible. If H. Spencer Lewis, the founder of the modern Order started out with a small building in San Jose and visualized it growing into the Rosicrucian Park that exists today, I can have that future too, I just have to believe in it. I will be back to San Jose to do my next initiation and maybe then things will make more sense as to if I really am meant to move there, find my husband and open Magdalena Tower. But for now, as I write this on the plane on the way back to Denver, I trust everything is in the right place and that my journey is far from over.

Oh, and I got another pin at initiation. Now I have two! Haha.