Friday the 13th and the full moon eclipse in Scorpio was a WILD RIDE. Full Moon in Scorpio always kicks my ass HARD and this year was no exception
I really should have put 2 and 2 together about the eclipse being in Scorpio because the Uranian and Martian energies were STRONG.
This story actually starts in 2020 where my mystical and mundane lives intersected over a pair of concert tickets.
Right before COVID I bought tickets with a Rosicrucian brother who is also a Martinist with me to see Ministry on tour with KMFDM and Frontline Assembly. Frontline Assembly and KMFDM dropped off the tour and Ministry Rescheduled so many times that time went by, things changed and my brother and I became estranged. I talked to the officers and our Masters about it. My brother refused to reply to me about the tickets to the show so I blocked him on Facebook and blocked his number. I was put off because it was never supposed to be a date so I didn’t know why my brother ghosted me. I thought it was really disrespectful but I still had to be cordial to him at the poranos because I didn’t want mundane drama to interfere with our mission of spreading light and love or our spiritual studies. I let my elders know that the rift between my brother and I would not bring drama to our community but I no longer considered him a friend.
I still went to see Ministry but I took my partner, Zee (pronouns they/them) with me instead. The band wasn’t my act of choice but I had the tickets for so long it was worth it to go. I was super sad I wasn’t seeing Frontline Assembly or KMFDM and the value of the tickets dropped so I lost money but the show was something like a bridge between pre and post COVID.
Then, a few weeks after the Ministry show, in the middle of a disagreement with my partner, we found out Frontline Assembly was coming on 5/12/22 to Denver so we bought tickets, kissed and made up.
I haven’t been watching the stars as closely as I used to since I switched to horoscope writing. Writing horoscopes is a different beast than the astrology predictions I did for the Tarot forecast. So I lost track of the idea a lot of Mars energy was afoot.
And Mar’s war drums hummed as the show got closer unnoticed.
Zee mentioned Frontline Assembly has a lot of Martian energy behind it the day before the show but I just nodded, ignoring we were heading into full moon in Scorpio on the night of the show.
It was great being at a Mars fueled dark dance party. I was having a great time looking cute and dancing. But when Frontline Assembly came on, all of a sudden I felt like my DNA was being scrambled. The music was so overwhelming I almost walked out. I wasn’t sure what was happening and at first my logical mind went to the sound guy really fucking up. But I asked zee if they thought the sound levels were really messed up and they told me they thought it was a little loud but it was clear zee wasn’t as affected as I was. I wondered if I’d contacted COVID because I felt something enter me and alter me. That is the only way I can explain it. But I apprehensively shrugged it off. Can someone really pinpoint the exact moment they contain COVID?
During the 2nd song the sound improved. I enjoyed the band (even though then didn’t play any of my favorite songs).
At the end of the show I picked up my jacket with the big rose on the back that I’d abandoned on a table. Someone else had put their jacket near mine so I held mine up to make sure I picked up the right one. The lights swept over the rose, lit it up and turned it bright blue.
“What does that mean?” I asked myself as the rose on my jacket blazed blue for a moment. I thought about how blue roses refer to secrets and I thought about the phrase “sub rosa” a saying that originated from telling secrets in rose gardens.
The next day I checked my e-mail and our Grand Master in the Martinists had sent out an e-mail to my class stating our beloved class master, Master Terry, passed away suddenly. I thought about the red rose turning blue on my jacket and about the fact it was Friday the 13th, an unlucky day with distant ties to my Order as well because of the slaughter of the Knights Templar in France on Friday, October 13, 1307.
Not to mention the Blood Moon Eclipse coming in Scorpio.
I was aware I was riding straight into something but not sure what. The seeker in me opened to the unknown.
I did recognize that ever since the extremely confusing opening song at the concert, I felt off — not sick but not like myself. I went a went my weekend, working in the garden and seeing friends. Something wasn’t right but I thought it was too much Sun or not enough sleep.
Sunday, 5/15/22 I took a Shamanic journey with my Teacher Ashton under the blood moon. I was feeling sicker and sicker as we went on our urban moonlit hike. We watched the moon turn itself off and on again. I took a peppermint shot in honor of the eclipse and felt like I stabbed a dragon. Something roared in me and I knew that i wasn’t just feeling off, I was coming down with something.
I got home at 2 and woke up without taste or smell the next day. I took a COVID test and tested positive.
It was a decent into something like an upper layer of hell from that point on. I had to tell everyone I came into contact with while my eyes watered so much I couldn’t see anything. My partner ended up reading to me because all I could do is let water pour out of my eyes and nose.
The physical and spiritual planes overlap when illness takes hold sometimes. Fever and delirium make it difficult to tell the difference between above and below.
The 2nd day was very difficult. I wrapped my face up in a sakura patterned bandanna I got in Japan around my face because my eyes and nose were watering so much it was the only way to mange it. Zee said I looked weird just sitting there with a bandanna wrapped around my face and talking. We giggled about that. My doctor said he was happy I still had a sense of humor because even though my whole body hurt, I still had my sense of humor. But I was so uncomfortable it was impossible to rest. I had the telehealth because I was getting a sinus infection so I got antibiotics and steroids. I would have ridden it out but I knew the sinus infection needed treatment or it would prolong COVID.
It took until evening for my meds to be ready because Walgreens pharmacy was slammed. My doc said I was his 4th COVID patient if the day so it’s def going around. PSA: word to the wise: mask up, lay low and get friendly with the hand sanitizer.
Zee got my meds around 7 and we had dinner. I took the meds from my doctor and my body was like ::in Ash from Evil Dead’s voice:: “Groovy”. That’s when the real fight with COVID started.
My thermometer kicked the bucket but I knew I had a high fever because all of a sudden it was like someone turned up the heat on the stove and my head felt like a pot about to boil. The fever spread pain throughout my body that was so intense I literally cried. It felt like when I had COVID in 2020 but no one thought COVID was here yet so I had to fight through that with no one knowing what was wrong with me.
At least this time I was prepared.
I took a shot of NyQuil, said a prayer of protection because I was going into battle with the virus and crossed over into the spirit realm somewhere between 9 and 10 o’clock.
I was quiet about Master Terry’s passing because I felt it was a private affair since she was a teacher in the Rosicrucians and Martinists. She transferred a lot of protected knowledge to me, taught me our signs and passwords, and was part of intiation ceremonies. But due to the nature of our Order, I called upon her to come to aid me last night and she showed up on the back of a white horse. She was radiant, like the picture of Blondie dressed in armor. Her silver hair was blowing and a ring of light was around her head.
Then we went into battle. I took a page from the playbook of a little boy who beat cancer and imagined my white blood cells as knight battling the virus – dragons that could turn into spikey balls.
It was a rough battle and it waged for 6 hours. My eyes popped open at 2 AM. My hair was drenched in dry sweat. I felt like I had been vomited up from a battle field, like I was covered in dust and grime.
But I felt SO MUCH LIGHTER. The pain was COMPLETELY GONE. My eyes were still watering and I was fucking exhusted but it was definitely a turning point. As i reconnected with the physical world, I heard my teacher say, “Now do you believe in metaphysical healing?”
I got up to take a shower and wash the battlefield off me. I absorbed her words and processed what she said. I had some personal revelations. I finished my shower and went back to sleep.
Since then, I feel like I was carried off the battlefield in a stretcher and am resting. I’m here and breathing and recovering but I am EXHUSTED. It was a hard fight last night but things are turning around now.
COVID recovery is so hard. I’m getting more battery life back every day but I’m still pacing myself and taking advantage of my leave. I want to be at full battery as much as I can when I have to go back to work on Tuesday.
I have enjoyed the extra down time to read. My reading list was really long and I’ve been able to wrap up some titles I’ve been taking my time with. It’s been satisfying getting in touch with my inner bibliophile
When I do have battery life, I have been planning projects like my garden and my graphic novel project. We’re planting in the garden Sunday and once I get paid for my writing I can get cracking on the graphic novel again.
I’ve also been applying to jobs for writing spirituality columns. I feel that I’m ready for a change. My current job has been making me sick with stress and I feel a change is crucial for my health after taking a lot of time to reflect on why I’m always sick.
COVID has been a kind of rebirth and I feel very different. something has changed. Some of the change is good like realizing I’m ready to embrace what I want in life more. Other things, like the fatigue and brain fog, and touch and go fever are scary.
And yes, I’m starting to believe in metaphysical healing, which was a huge barrier in my studies with my Order. Although it doesn’t work at all like I thought and I am thankful for Master Terry’s guidance from beyond.
For now, all I can do is focus on taking good care of myself
And for this I am thankful.