Well, I didn’t get the scholarship for the writing conference but as my boyfriend pointed out (he looked at my last reading too), we already knew it wasn’t going to happen. So even though I’m disappointed, I expected it.

Rejection is something that comes way more often than not in the writing industry which is why I’ve never been able to break into journalism and I just now have started to try to seriously publish my work. It’s a nasty, cut throat industry that seems harder to break into than the music and entertainment. I can say that because I’ve been in and out of entertainment for most of my life– from being in commercials when I was a little girl to dancing on stages at electronic music events all over the world to a brief jaunt in pro wrestling.  I’m  30 now,and I feel like it’s time to move on from the spotlight and be part of the behind the scenes creation of entertainment. But just like any other career change, I’m trying to switch fields as an artist and I’m finding it really difficult.

I laid out some cards today  and from what I can gather, there’s some blocked energy and the cards advise that I do not try to approach anyone in publishing — even consultants — until much later. My guess is early next year but I don’t think I’ll have the patience to wait until then.  I asked what I can do to unblocked the energy and it was advised that  I change jobs to improve my financial situation so I can afford professional editing, consulting, etc.

Changing jobs is a really big pain in the ass. I have PMDD (a severe form of PMS that can be crippling  for me) and it’s difficult to find an employer who can understand that.  I have been butting heads with my main employer  recently due to my PMDD but I don’t work in an office with her and we communicate via text mostly so it’s easy for me to get out of confrontations gracefully. It would really suck to find another job only to get fired because of PMDD, which has happened in the past.

Knight of Wands

I asked what kind of job I should look for and I pulled the Knight of Wands. I’m not sure what kinds of jobs the Knight of Wands could imply. I have another job that is activist based but unfortunately, they don’t have any more hours available for the position that I hold. Some of the other cards, such as the 8 of wands and 10 of pentacles and 5 of swords that I pulled earlier in the day  indicate swift lifting of blockages once the job situation is solved.

What are some jobs that you think are good jobs revolving around the Knight of Wands?

And finally, let’s end on a hopeful not with a remix of an old skool classical vocal trance track.  I love this song because it goes with the theme of my novel.

“Daytime will keep you alive
Daytime will help you survive tomorrow”