During the full eclipse in Taurus early last Tuesday morning, I dreamed I was climbing a translucent, ghostly ladder. I was climbing it up and up in the middle of darkness. I didn’t know where I was going. I’d climbed ladders like this in meditation and in dreams before and just like the times before, I was interested to see where I’d eventually end up.
I was climbing for a long time and I felt there must be something really awesome at the end of this ladder because it felt so remote compared to other places I visit when I leave my body.
But when I got to a certain point, a gentle force prevented me from climbing any higher. It felt like I was being repelled by a magnetic force. It didn’t hurt or feel threatening. But I was absolutely prevented from going any further.
I tried to climb with all my might but this gentle force continued to prevent me from climbing any higher. I even started running in place on the ladder to try to break through the forcefield.
I was so enthusiastic I started thrashing in bed. I kicked Zee and woke that one up. Zee was like “What are you doing?”
And I remembered the force. It felt friendly, like a parent or caretaker smiling and laughing at a little baby trying to crawl up the stairs. It felt like it was saying, “No, no, not yet, little one. Go back down there and play!” Zee agreed that was the meaning and we went back to sleep.
I was reminded that in the big scheme of things, even though my soul feels so ancient, I’m still just a little baby. It reminded me that sometimes the things we are blocked from are things we’re not ready for. But when we are finally ready, the wait is always worth it.
It wasn’t the first time I’ve been that far out there and it’s not the first time I was turned around. I’ll eventually be able to go further out, but I have to level up first. So back to exploring what earth has to teach me.
And that’s not so bad, I think.