I had the most powerful dream about my Twin Flame last night. If you want the backstory, go here.
Sometimes before I have a psychic experience, I feel really sick. I put on some press on nails last night (lol). I was going to do a Tarot coloring video for the card of the month, The High Priestess before bed. But suddenly I was hit by intense nausea so I went straight to bed and did some breath work to cope. The breathwork helped and the painful cramps subsided as I drifted off into sleep.
I dreamed My Twin Flame showed up at my house in the back of a limo. It was kind of like Revolutionary Girl Utena meets my novel meets my life.
My Twin rolled down the window and told me to get in. He wanted me to join him at his hotel. For some reason, his mom was at the wheel but there was dark glass separating us and her so we had privacy.
I got into the back of a black leather interior limo and indulged in sinful pleasures with My Twin like when we were young and wild and ready to die together. We got drunk and got sensual. I breathed him in and we revealed in each other. It took me back to how intoxicating he was. I felt his hands on my thighs and his breath in my nostrils and ears. We drank liquor flavored kisses and like always, all he had to do was say the word and I was his
… but he never did. He brought me to the brink of my desire but never gave me what I wanted … chaining me like the Devil he is.
We got to the hotel and My Twin was so drunk he passed out.
So I went to work … at McDonalds lmao.
Then My Twin kept calling me while I was at work. He had me wrapped around his little finger again with sweet talk and sugary lies.
“I can’t wait to see you,” he said. But he showed up after work on foot. He’d sobered up and pushed me away. He was cold and wouldn’t even give me a hug. He told me what happened in the back of the limo never happened but I knew it did. He was gaslighting me again for control.
So I left him and went to visit LADY GAGA.
I told Lady Gaga about what happened with my Twin. We were in a beautiful house with beautiful people. She took me under her wing and diverted my attention away from heartbreak to art. She mentored me about making and marketing my art. Lady Gaga took me to places out of paintings. We sat in on wonderful philosophical lectures on love and beauty.
Then I got invited to a big party with important fashion people. It was a flashback to an IRL opportunity I had to break into the fashion world that I blew in Tokyo (sans Lady Gaga being there).
Lady Gaga dressed me before the dream event and told me to be confident and know I’m beautiful and worthy.
Things really took off when I became Lady Gaga’s mentee. I was finally in the right place at the right time to make the connections with the right people and get my creative career off the ground. I quit McDonald’s (lol) and went to work on projects at lots of wonderful events in beautiful places. I was living my best creative life and I felt whole.
But My Twin noticed I’d removed him and he was jealous. He kept calling, showing up and trying to get my attention but I was over that. He banged on windows when I was at a parties and shouted my name with his face pressed up to the glass. No one ever noticed him so I ignored him too. I wasn’t going to be his dolly any more. And I never called him back because I was a free bitch, baby.
I woke up confused because the dream was so real I thought it was happening. I know My Twin loves me as an object — I’m one of his favorite toys — because he reflected his desires on me. And combine with my will, we made magic happen. We’re Twin Flames and we had that power nailed down. We knew we had the power to make things happen alone, but together, we were unstoppable.
And it’s true, anything I wanted to do, with him by my side it came out 10x stronger and vice versa. But he wanted to use that power to control me for his desires and he thought of me like a doll.
Sometimes he snatched me away from boyfriends or he sat in while I was getting hot and heavy with someone and just watched until I told him to leave. I feel he wanted to own me because of what we could manifest and letting anyone else get too close to me was a problem for him, his ego and ambitions.
I freed myself from that and I was able to be my own person. It put me on the track for manifesting what I want in life. And it was so much better than being in the twisted web of a pathological liar who got off on manipulating my feelings for his entertainment.
I got a lot of that out of breaking down the dream symbols but the dream reeked of telepathy. There was more to it than psychological symbols because a telephone was involved. So it appears my Twin is trying to contact me in dreams again. He uses that method to call me back and I’ve continuously ignored him in dream time. We’ve had IRL conversations about how we call each other in dreams as a literal “call”. He may have had a similar dream. He usually does. He used to message me and tell me when I was in his dreams and it was often the same experience I dreamed of on the same night about him.
But I have to remind myself: he is literally incapable of feeling love or empathy or compassion because he’s a sociopath. I cannot let the wolf back in … even in dream time. He’s a dangerous person. If he wants to talk it’s just to toy with me and I’m over that.
I’m not going to lie. It was hard ignoring his calls in this dream. When he showed up in dreams since I cut him out, we never spoke. But this time was different. It was all passion and emotion. I listened to every message he left in the dream and thought about inviting him back into my life. But when I confined in Lady Gaga, she looked me right in the eyes, touched my hand and said, “No.” and my life and art and writing careers blossomed. I feel it’s mirroring my life now. Just because we’re Twin Flames doesn’t mean we have to be in each other’s lives forever. A lot of Twin Flame relationships never reach union because they are too turbulent. We had a kundalini awakening years ago and that may have been the point of us meeting in the first place.
At any rate, that was an intense dream. What a deep dive into my psyche with paranormal overtones … it felt like a fashion version of Little Red Ridding Hood but Grandma Gaga was wise and knew what to tell me to do. And I played the part of an older and wiser Little Red Riding Hood who listened to Grandma Gaga and refused to let the wolf in.
And when I woke up I had the print on demand covers to Magdalena Tarot Magazine in my inbox. Hell yeah. They look gorgeous. The dimensions are wrong so the graphic designer needs to play with it more but a print on demand version of Magdalena Tarot Magazine is coming SOON — proof my art is blossoming outside of dreamtime.
One day I know my Twin Flame is going to confront me face to face like he has every time I ran in the past. But I’m my own person now and I’m never letting the wolf at the door in again.
In the wise words of Lady Gaga, “Call all you want, but there’s no one home and you’re not gonna reach my telephone.”
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